good scientist jokes & quotations

• It's generaly false that within 2 points goes a straight line. Excepted, of course, if the 2 points are exactly facing each others.
• In numerical analysis, you can have 2+2 = 5, for 2 big enough and 5 small enough.
• A mathematician nightmare would be an epsilon going toward infinity when n goes toward zero.
• A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
• lim ( sqrt(8) ) = 3
  8->9
• A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
• To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
• 97.3% of all statistics are made up.
• It was mentioned on CNN that the new prime number discovered recently is four times bigger then the previous record.
• The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. (Niels Bohr)
• Before I die, I hope that someone will explain quantum mechanics to me. After I die, I hope that God will explain turbulence to me. (W. Heisenberg)
• The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.
• Half of the people in the world are below average.
• In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is.
• The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a "No Exit" sign.
• Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
• The speed of time is one second per second.
• Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components.
• If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together !
• The average human has one testical and one breast and less that two legs...
• Science is Truth; don't be misled by facts.
• Points have no parts or joints. How then can they combine To form a line?
• God made the natural integers numbers. The others, were man-made. (Weierstrass)
• Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.
• Black Holes sucks...
• Theoretical Physics is a science locally isomorphic to Mathematics.
• A probability is a desperate attempt of chaos to become stable.
• Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero.
• At first, God said :
  Rot E = -dB/dt
  Div D = rho
  Div B = 0
  Rot H = j + dD/dt
  and there was the light. (J.C. Maxwell)
• Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it's not cockroaches.
• Absolute zero is *cool*.
• What is a quantum particle? The dreams that stuff is made of...
• "Here Kitty,Kitty" (Schrodinger) [my favourite !]
• Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. (Albert Einstein)
• A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.
• Chemists are the *cleanest* people you'll ever meet... they wash their hands even *before* they go to the restroom!
• Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
• Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
• Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
• A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
• The must incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible. (Albert Einstein)
• Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18. (Albert Einstein)
• You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. (Albert Einstein)
• Experimental confirmation of a prediction is merely a measurement. An experiment disproving a prediction is a discovery. (Enrico Fermi)
• Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. (Pablo Picasso)
• Real discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. (Proust)